Day 22: Cleanliness is Next to Hungriness

Three women from my town recently started a business promoting healthy living, and among the services they offer is a three-day cleanse. I got an e-mail Sunday night asking whether I'd be interested in joining the group starting today. Did they know that I ate several pounds of buttercream frosting on Sunday? Had word gotten out? My willpower these last few months has been at an all-time low -- even my fat jeans don't fit -- and I decided that this cleanse would give me a much-needed jump-start. I said yes without hesitation. I picked up my bag of goodies this morning.

So far I've been an excellent camper. I haven't eaten anything I wasn't supposed to except when I licked my finger after slicing the lamb roast that I made for everyone else's dinner. I didn't even realize I was doing it until it was too late. That's the same excuse I use after consuming an entire package of Oreo Double Stuffs. Anyway, I've had several interesting and tasty drinks today made out of a variety of fruits and vegetables. I had a shredded cabbage salad for lunch. For dinner I had some sort of thick pureed soup which was LOADED with cayenne. I've been drinking lots of water and cup after cup of green tea. I pee every five minutes. I'm being so good! All the while I'm dying for sugar, for carbs, for fat. I'm dreaming of buttercream frosting.

For some strange reason I went to Whole Foods today, a place I rarely go. Call me a masochist. I was okay until I hit the very last aisle, where parmigiano reggiano, coffee beans and massive chunks of chocolate are all on display, unwrapped, samples abounding, within a few feet of one another. The aromas wafting through that space blindsided me and I felt almost giddy. I got out of there fast.

The best thing that's happened today is that A came home for the night as a surprise. She could almost take my mind off food except that she walked in with a box of Pop'ems and an Entenmann's Marshmallow Iced Devil's Food Cake. An offering of love, but I had to deny, deny, deny. It just doesn't seem right.

"Chopped", my favorite show on The Food Network, is on tonight. "Top Chef Las Vegas" is on tomorrow. I think I'd better TiVo them.