Day 44: A Gut Feeling

L and H didn't have school today so we went into the city and wandered around. We had a really yummy lunch at Shake Shack in Madison Square Park. I had a Second City Bird Dog, which I'm not going to attempt to describe but which was outstanding, and we all loved the frozen custard. But I digress. On the drive in we listened to a podcast of a "Radiolab" show about parasites. Do not read any further if you don't want to be totally grossed out!

We heard the story of Jasper, a man living in California who has suffered from acute allergies and asthma since early childhood. On a trip home to England about five years ago, he learned of a BBC report about hookworms and their potential benefit to humans. It seems that 50% fewer people in third world countries -- where, among other things, much of the populace doesn't have indoor plumbing or even latrines -- suffer from allergies than those in developed countries. Scientists believe that hookworms and humans can develop a symbiotic relationship: a person supplies the food for the hookworms living in his gut, and in exchange, the hookworms prevent that person's immune system from attacking itself. MS, Crohn's Disease, and other autoimmune disorders are less prevalent in people infected with hookworms.

Jasper immediately launched a search for hookworms but discovered that they couldn't be had through any legitimate means; after all, they can also pose a significant health risk. Desperate, and having exhausted all other options, he traveled through Africa for two weeks, visiting 30 or 40 villages and sloshing barefoot through just as many open sewers in an attempt to attract the parasite. Apparently he was successful, and he has been allergy and asthma free ever since (he's lucky that's all he caught). Jasper now owns his very own business selling his very own hookworms. Yup, you know where he gets them.

Disgusting and gross, I know, but also thought-provoking. I don't think I could voluntarily infect myself with a parasite, but who knows what I might be able to do in different circumstances. I have an autoimmune disorder that affects my shoulders and my legs in a very mild way. But what if I were seriously impaired and in a lot of pain and had reached a dead end with more traditional medicine? Could I do it? I don't know, but I'm glad Jasper has hookworms for sale now (he sanitizes them and treats them with antibiotics first) so that I don't ever have to slosh through open sewers.

This was all on my mind later in the afternoon when I was in Barnes & Noble and used what proved to be one of the dirtiest bathrooms I've seen in a long time. I've used latrines in Nicaragua, and I've used porta potties at Jazz Fest in New Orleans (where people have been drinking all day long in the blazing sun and stand twenty people deep in line), but I swear there was more growing in the bookseller's stall than in those two places combined.

The last time I was at Jazz Fest I didn't take a good look at the guy standing in front of me in the porta potty line until it was his turn; by then I was well past the point of being able to start all over again in a new line. He was a huge, hairy, hulking Hells Angels-type dude, and he spent at least five minutes behind the closed door. I couldn't believe I was going in there after him. My mom had a true horror of public bathrooms and I could hear her voice telling me not to do it, no, don't do it! But I had no choice. I walked up to the door of the porta potty the way I imagine a person approaches a guillotine. I took a deep breath, entered the porta potty and discovered, when I finally had to gulp for air, that Hells Angels Dude took so much time in there not because of hookworm but because he'd been getting stoned! It was like the world's greatest air freshener!

Jasper and Hells Angels Dude: my heroes.